Lookin' for the High

As a runner, there truly isn't anything quiet like the adrenaline high you get after crossing the finish line or achieving a set mileage/time goal. I feel so far removed from that feeling lately.

Last Friday night I found myself in the ER. I was running a fever, having chills, sweating profusely and my joints were very inflamed and painful. While I've experience this situation before, it's usually because of the serum sensitivity and happens with I'm on IV medications. However, this was different because I haven't been on IV's since 12/15/15.

I just feel like a hot mess lately. I feel good for about a week or so, then I'm right back to square one - feeling crapping. I haven't been able to keep a regular workout routine, which affects so much for me. My mood, my energy levels, my diabetes, my lungs, my depression, etc.... In the brief moments of feeling good I do go for walks or a small jog and when I'm feeling icky and painful I try to do at least 15 minutes of yoga. It isn't much but it's something.

Yesterday and today I am desperately missing the high. That runner's high. That feeling of great accomplishment. When the mind and body function as one and you are in awe of just how awesome your body is and how powerful your mind can be when focused.

I know I'll get back to that place. I have to - for my survival and the survival of those around me. Until then I'm holding on to this image.

2015 Fueled by Fine Wine - 

Finish Line!!

~Doodlin'

2016?! Where Did 2015 Go?

I'm in awe that we're eight-days into 2016. I feel like summer just left us but we're already thru all the Fall and Winter holidays. Just astonishing how quickly time goes by.

I've left this place and you all hanging for quite some time now. Last year was a great year. I accomplished a few goals, started a few new adventures and enjoyed the path thru it all. Here's a quick recap...

My biggest goal in 2015 was to live independently of my g-tube (feeding tube). I was successful in doing so from March until November 13th, when it was permanently removed. Yay! Generally, it takes anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months for the wound to heal but mine has surprisingly healed rather fast. I figured I'd be on the 6-month end of the healing process. It feels really good to have accomplished this goal. No more stressing about what to wear or how to wear something to conceal it. No more late nights trying to figure out why it's clogged and the machine won't stop it's retched beeping. No more additional insulin shots to cover the night feeds. No more smelly gross feeding formula. Just no more. Thankful.

Bryan and I also began the process of becoming certified Foster parents. We were approved in July and had our first sibling group placed on July 20th. What an eye opening experience. I knew it would be challenging. Oh. My. Goodness. I was stretched thinner than I've ever been in my life; both physically and emotionally. Each child that has come into our home we've gained so much from. They are teaching us about life. I pray they are learning from us as well but I do know they are opening our minds, hearts and home to things we couldn't have imagined.

In July, I finished my 3rd half marathon. It wasn't as successful as the previous half but I finished and that is what was important to me. This particular half difficult for me due to the terrain. We ran thru Oregon's wine country which aided in some awesome views but the amount of uphill was physically hard for me. However, I did cross the finish line!!

I'm looking forward to 2016 along with adventure it brings. I've got some goals floating around in my head and soul so we'll see where this year takes us.

~Doodlin'