Lookin' for the High

As a runner, there truly isn't anything quiet like the adrenaline high you get after crossing the finish line or achieving a set mileage/time goal. I feel so far removed from that feeling lately.

Last Friday night I found myself in the ER. I was running a fever, having chills, sweating profusely and my joints were very inflamed and painful. While I've experience this situation before, it's usually because of the serum sensitivity and happens with I'm on IV medications. However, this was different because I haven't been on IV's since 12/15/15.

I just feel like a hot mess lately. I feel good for about a week or so, then I'm right back to square one - feeling crapping. I haven't been able to keep a regular workout routine, which affects so much for me. My mood, my energy levels, my diabetes, my lungs, my depression, etc.... In the brief moments of feeling good I do go for walks or a small jog and when I'm feeling icky and painful I try to do at least 15 minutes of yoga. It isn't much but it's something.

Yesterday and today I am desperately missing the high. That runner's high. That feeling of great accomplishment. When the mind and body function as one and you are in awe of just how awesome your body is and how powerful your mind can be when focused.

I know I'll get back to that place. I have to - for my survival and the survival of those around me. Until then I'm holding on to this image.

2015 Fueled by Fine Wine - 

Finish Line!!

~Doodlin'

Thankful Thursday: Power of Choice

The past few days and weeks I have been on the edge of great emotions. I am not exactly sure as to why, but I do know there are a handful of contributing factors. The weather has been up and down, my joints have been really hurting, the hubby is working long hours, my 30th birthday is fast approaching and on and on.....

Today, I was standing in my closet choosing what to wear. My first thought was something drab that would cover me up, keep me comfy, keep all my self-conceived flaws out of view and plainly because I didn't feel particularly spunky. But, as I started to pull out a shirt then pants my mind wondered to that place of choosing a bad day or deliberately attempting to choose a good day. Your probably thinking I am crazy that my mind would go thru all that just over picking out what to wear. But for me, my cloths are as creative as I get. For me, they are an expression of who I am, how I am feeling and what I plan to accomplish that day. The labels are not important to me but the "look" and "feel" are.

After looking at what I had pulled out I made a choice to pull out a different less draby shirt. What I pulled out was a bright green shirt with black stripes. It all began with choice number one.

As the day went along I found myself at crossroads of choosing positive options or negative. All along the way I found that I veered towards the negative and had to deliberately opt for the positive. Decision by decision I am now wrapping up my day. The day was positive. While not easy nor was making it a positive day easy; nonetheless is was positive.

As I sit here writing this post of what I am thankful for I am realizing (not for the first time, unfortunately) that I have the power to choose. We all have the power to choose positive energy. Does this mean it will be easy, heck no but it does mean you'll be in a slightly better place mentally and emotionally than if you made the opposite decision.

Today, I am thankful for the power of choice. The power to stop at each decision each crossroad and choose which directional arrow I am going to follow. The power to allow my circumstances; whether controllable or not, to edify me or consume me.

~Doodlin'

Creaky Joints and Wraps

The past months weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been anything but desirable, truly. We had a couple of days that the mercury hit 80+ degrees but other than that it has been cold, windy and rainy. This   fluctuation in temperature and weather irritates my joints.

I was given the diagnoses of rheumatoid arthritis a few years back after a ridiculously excruciating experience with gout. Apparently, CF physicians are seeing this more and more as patients live longer. The exact reason is a bit unknown given that CF affects every system in the body. For me, the pain has been debilitating at times or the pain so great that I need heavy duty drugs to bring relief which has a lovely side affect of extreme drowsiness. So, either way I am pretty worthless when the pain rears its ugly head.

The one thing that does help depending on the level of pain is heat. I used to take blistering hot baths or showers to help bring relief. But as of late I have found a wonderful little thing by Earth Therapeutics that you heat in the microwave and wrap around whatever body part needs it most. I usually use 3 of these wraps at a time.


With the weather fluctuations the wraps have been a staple for being able to fall asleep. Night time is worst time to deal with pain. If I am up and about its much easier to "put my pain in some other place" and attempt to carry on. But at night, when its quite and your mind sticks to one thought or thing is by far the most miserable time to experience pain. Plus it sort of feels lonely, even with the hubby snoring right next to me.

Any ideas on how to help relief the pain during the day, say, when I'm not at home but running errands or attending appointments?

~Doodlin'