This year's birthday was spent just how I wanted; in my pj's watching tv all day long with cheese pizza topped with a sliced tomato for dinner. Perfect.
For years I have been celebrating by going out to dinner to some other sort of event and each year I wonder why I do that to myself. Yes, it's fun. Yes, I enjoy getting all attention for one day. Yes, I love catching up with old friends and family. But.....
Each year gets harder and harder to process emotionally. Each year on or the day before my birthday I feel like my emotions are a mixed bag of nuts. Some emotions are tasty and sweet while others are salty (literally from tears). With each passing year I get closer and closer to the median survival age of 36. I think my gosh, 36 is only 7 years away, I have so much I want to accomplish before then. I feel like the timer for my life is running out on EVERYTHING. I think of what I have accomplished thus far and it simply is not acceptable to me. I want and need to put more footprints in this life. I start to make lists of things I need to do and things I want to do before the next years birthday. I think of sweet things to say to those I love so that I can be sure they know how I felt about them should 7 years go so fast that I forget to say them.
In between frantic thoughts of only having 7 years I think about all the amazing things I have gotten to do. All the great, and I do mean great, people I have encountered in just 29 years. The fact that I spend the last 5 years with a wonderful, caring, intellegent, hardworking, and compassionate husband. I am thankful that I have become an auntie two times over in the past few years. I think fondly on all the trips with all the different people I have been so blessed to travel with and all the people I have met during our travels. The list goes on and on.........
In my attempt to grab the good nuts yesterday I ended up grabing a few unfavorable ones. But the not-so-good-ones help me appreciate the goods ones soooo much more.
~Doodlin'
Thank you to all my peeps for the wonderful happy birthday wishes.
For years I have been celebrating by going out to dinner to some other sort of event and each year I wonder why I do that to myself. Yes, it's fun. Yes, I enjoy getting all attention for one day. Yes, I love catching up with old friends and family. But.....
Each year gets harder and harder to process emotionally. Each year on or the day before my birthday I feel like my emotions are a mixed bag of nuts. Some emotions are tasty and sweet while others are salty (literally from tears). With each passing year I get closer and closer to the median survival age of 36. I think my gosh, 36 is only 7 years away, I have so much I want to accomplish before then. I feel like the timer for my life is running out on EVERYTHING. I think of what I have accomplished thus far and it simply is not acceptable to me. I want and need to put more footprints in this life. I start to make lists of things I need to do and things I want to do before the next years birthday. I think of sweet things to say to those I love so that I can be sure they know how I felt about them should 7 years go so fast that I forget to say them.
In between frantic thoughts of only having 7 years I think about all the amazing things I have gotten to do. All the great, and I do mean great, people I have encountered in just 29 years. The fact that I spend the last 5 years with a wonderful, caring, intellegent, hardworking, and compassionate husband. I am thankful that I have become an auntie two times over in the past few years. I think fondly on all the trips with all the different people I have been so blessed to travel with and all the people I have met during our travels. The list goes on and on.........
In my attempt to grab the good nuts yesterday I ended up grabing a few unfavorable ones. But the not-so-good-ones help me appreciate the goods ones soooo much more.
~Doodlin'
Thank you to all my peeps for the wonderful happy birthday wishes.
Kari, thank you for this post. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sharing your heart.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love.