The longer I breathe, talk, walk and participate in this life I find myself in different places, at different junctures, breaking and making assumptions. The one thing that I keep coming back to is this idea or belief that I was chosen to live in this era with this disease. To be clear I do identify as a Christian.
Just when I find myself in a deep valley the sun shines thru a plateau. Just when I feel like I'm breathing under water a pocket of air envelopes me. Just when I feel that the situation is hopeless, hope smiles back at me. I believe it's some what human nature to have such emotions, its part of the journey. You can't understand what its like to be hopeful if you've never been hopeless.
Over the past few months I've been on a roller coaster with my health. I have so desperately wanted off. The thing is I have total control as to whether I stay on this roller coaster or not. Sure, I still have to deal with my health, be diligent and take care of myself, but it doesn't have to control anything beyond that. It doesn't have to be a looping track, over and over at high speeds leaving me dizzy.
God knows my journey, he plotted it for heavens sake. I believe and sort of always have that my CF is more about God than it is about me. He wants to use it to show is grace, mercy and love to the world. Does this knowledge make it easier when I am in despair. Nope, not really, there are times of great sorrow in this house. It does make me draw closer to God though. God never said it would be easy but that it would be worth it.
I want my life to be worth it.
I want to look back and say that I did rather than I couldn't because _____.
So, the thing is....
step out in faith
be a doer not a can't-er
get off the roller coaster and put my tennis shoes on and start walking
follow my heart
speak edifyingly of others
loves those who hurt
just do
remember that love does
Making assumptions about our lives can leave us stuck. It can dictate where we go and how we do it. Leave assumptions where they belong, on the ground. Because more often than not your assumptions will betray you, leaving you feeling foolish. I have assumed that 37 is my golden number. The average life-expancty but the closer I get to 37 the more I feel I've assumed too little of myself and my God.
I think I'll attempt to take each day for what it is; a new opportunity. Instead of assuming what each day is.
`Doodlin'
Just when I find myself in a deep valley the sun shines thru a plateau. Just when I feel like I'm breathing under water a pocket of air envelopes me. Just when I feel that the situation is hopeless, hope smiles back at me. I believe it's some what human nature to have such emotions, its part of the journey. You can't understand what its like to be hopeful if you've never been hopeless.
Over the past few months I've been on a roller coaster with my health. I have so desperately wanted off. The thing is I have total control as to whether I stay on this roller coaster or not. Sure, I still have to deal with my health, be diligent and take care of myself, but it doesn't have to control anything beyond that. It doesn't have to be a looping track, over and over at high speeds leaving me dizzy.
God knows my journey, he plotted it for heavens sake. I believe and sort of always have that my CF is more about God than it is about me. He wants to use it to show is grace, mercy and love to the world. Does this knowledge make it easier when I am in despair. Nope, not really, there are times of great sorrow in this house. It does make me draw closer to God though. God never said it would be easy but that it would be worth it.
I want my life to be worth it.
I want to look back and say that I did rather than I couldn't because _____.
So, the thing is....
step out in faith
be a doer not a can't-er
get off the roller coaster and put my tennis shoes on and start walking
follow my heart
speak edifyingly of others
loves those who hurt
just do
remember that love does
Making assumptions about our lives can leave us stuck. It can dictate where we go and how we do it. Leave assumptions where they belong, on the ground. Because more often than not your assumptions will betray you, leaving you feeling foolish. I have assumed that 37 is my golden number. The average life-expancty but the closer I get to 37 the more I feel I've assumed too little of myself and my God.
I think I'll attempt to take each day for what it is; a new opportunity. Instead of assuming what each day is.
`Doodlin'
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